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19 Predictions for Apple’s Keynote Address
Another Apple keynote is upon us. What will Tim Cook unveil?
Tags: LOL tech Apple
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How to Build a Biological Clock Out of a Potato

Megan Amram writes complete instructions in the FREE new Health and Fitness issue of The Occasional! Here are some excerpts: 

Literally every woman has a ticking time bomb within them that someday will explode and tell you to have millions of babies like a disgusting spider striped with stretch marks laying a fetid egg sac. This is called a “biological clock.” It might explode when you’re 16 or it might explode when you’re 41 (Old Maid much?), but it’s going to happen.

STEP #4: Pull over. You got lost on the way to the grocery store, didn’t you? Just ask a kindly gas station attendant or barkeep for directions. They’ll be sure to help you if you give a little smile and show a little gam!

NOTE: IF YOU WERE ASSAULTED BY A GAS STATION ATTENDANT, FOLLOW STEP 5. IF YOU WERE NOT, SKIP TO STEP 6.

STEP #5: Do not shower. Immediately call 911.

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Throwing Shade: Ex-Gays and Fitness Apps

Bryan and Erin mourn summer loves, the failed ex-gay movement and the weight-loss app Nenshou (for girls).

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The New Funny Or Die: Looking to the Future and Beyond
Welcome to the new Funny Or Die. We’re moving on from our past while still honoring it. Please join us and explore these new pages.

The New Funny Or Die: Looking to the Future and Beyond

Welcome to the new Funny Or Die. We’re moving on from our past while still honoring it. Please join us and explore these new pages.

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The Cryptkeeper Reviews the New Moto X Smartphone
Your old fiend, the Cryptkeeper, is here with a review of Motorola’s new Moto HEX fart-groan!
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The Tech of Tomorrow with Kristen Schaal and Kurt Braunohler

Kristen Schaal and Kurt Braunohler guide you through tomorrow’s technology today!

Download the FREE new Tech issue of The Occasional — Funny Or Die’s digital humor magazine — for the entire futuristic voyage!

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The One Man Affected by Y2K with Matt Walsh

Y2K was just media-fueled hysteria that actually caused no real harm, right? Matt Walsh wishes that were true.

Download the FREE new Tech issue of The Occasional for the entire story and video of one man’s digital demise.

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Product Review: Cell Phones
Artie Johann and The Occasional review the latest tech craze: cell phones.
Download the FREE new Tech issue of The Occasional!
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The 1985 Nintendo System Reveal

Rare video footage of Nintendo’s 1985 system reveal!

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14 GIFs Approved by Brent Rambo
In the early 90s, Apple released a promo video featuring a boy named Brent Rambo nodding at a computer monitor and giving a big thumbs up.
The Internet has finally figured out what he was looking at.

14 GIFs Approved by Brent Rambo

In the early 90s, Apple released a promo video featuring a boy named Brent Rambo nodding at a computer monitor and giving a big thumbs up.

The Internet has finally figured out what he was looking at.

Tags: LOL GIF tech Apple