The Updated Rules for Our Civil War Reenactment
Because modern society needs new rules to keep fighting an old war:
- As requested, the two sides will be divided into the following: North 1 and North 2.
When the initial guns are fired, signaling the commencement of the battle, the two sides will meet in the center of the field, shake hands, and discuss race relations and their ongoing role in our society.
Due to popular demand, each side gets to have three Abe Lincolns.
After one hour, each side will break for lunch and will update their Facebook statuses with engaging pieces of content they read on any of the following publications: The Atlantic, Mother Jones, and Grantland.