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Hot Erotic Fiction
WARNING: Kelly Hudson’s erotic literature may melt your computer/privates.

Hot Erotic Fiction

WARNING: Kelly Hudson’s erotic literature may melt your computer/privates.

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occasionalmag:

Special Edition! We pick up where Rolling Stone left off and tackle the #1 issue facing America today: Miley Cyrus. 

occasionalmag:

Special Edition! We pick up where Rolling Stone left off and tackle the #1 issue facing America today: Miley Cyrus. 

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Fuck, Marry, Kill: John Travolta Edition

Play everyone’s favorite game of crucial life choices in the FREE new Health and Fitness issue of The Occasional.

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The Occasional Gauntlet: 50 Questions with Pete Holmes
Comedian Pete Holmes answers 50 crucial questions in the FREE new Health and Fitness issue of The Occasional. Here are the first 10:

So you have a show?
Yep!
Like real good?
Totes real good.
Why do you get a show and not someone like Lena Dunham? She deserves a show.
Lena Dunham has a wildly popular show called Girls. I’ll forward you a link.
How many times have you made love to Lena Dunham?
I do have a crush on Lena Dunham. She dates the guitarist from Fun and I like to think of myself as the ambassador of fun, so I might have a chance.
How many times have you made love to anyone?
My record is “I can’t believe this is happening!”
Have you ever made love to someone who didn’t consider it “making love?”
I’ve “plowed” a lover once or twice (once). One time thanks to some Italian Merlot I gave a girlfriend “the business.”
What kind of bed do you sleep in?
Regular flat. Not old-person reading-style or European-sex bed.
What kind of home do you live in?
A Pete homes.
What’s your dream home?
Pete Holmes.

The Occasional Gauntlet: 50 Questions with Pete Holmes

Comedian Pete Holmes answers 50 crucial questions in the FREE new Health and Fitness issue of The Occasional. Here are the first 10:

So you have a show?

Yep!

Like real good?

Totes real good.

Why do you get a show and not someone like Lena Dunham? She deserves a show.

Lena Dunham has a wildly popular show called Girls. I’ll forward you a link.

How many times have you made love to Lena Dunham?

I do have a crush on Lena Dunham. She dates the guitarist from Fun and I like to think of myself as the ambassador of fun, so I might have a chance.

How many times have you made love to anyone?

My record is “I can’t believe this is happening!”

Have you ever made love to someone who didn’t consider it “making love?”

I’ve “plowed” a lover once or twice (once). One time thanks to some Italian Merlot I gave a girlfriend “the business.”

What kind of bed do you sleep in?

Regular flat. Not old-person reading-style or European-sex bed.

What kind of home do you live in?

A Pete homes.

What’s your dream home?

Pete Holmes.

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Tom Lennon’s Total Body Confusion
Tom Lennon bewilders your body into superb shape in the FREE new Health and Fitness issue of The Occasional!
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Terry Crews Presents the TerryStick

Terry Crews whips you into shape with the new TerryStick from TerryCo!

Download the FREE new Health and Fitness issue of The Occasional guest edited by Terry Crews for more amazing, interactive tips!

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via Terry Crews: Magazine Editor/Angry Black Man
See why Terry Crews was very qualified to guest edit the Health and Fitness issue of The Occasional.
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Bestie X Bestie: Episode 4.03
Jenny Slate and Gabe Liedman are besties! Enjoy this new episode, then watch the NEWEST one in the free new issue of The Occasional!

Bestie X Bestie: Episode 4.03

Jenny Slate and Gabe Liedman are besties! Enjoy this new episode, then watch the NEWEST one in the free new issue of The Occasional!

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How to Build a Biological Clock Out of a Potato

Megan Amram writes complete instructions in the FREE new Health and Fitness issue of The Occasional! Here are some excerpts: 

Literally every woman has a ticking time bomb within them that someday will explode and tell you to have millions of babies like a disgusting spider striped with stretch marks laying a fetid egg sac. This is called a “biological clock.” It might explode when you’re 16 or it might explode when you’re 41 (Old Maid much?), but it’s going to happen.

STEP #4: Pull over. You got lost on the way to the grocery store, didn’t you? Just ask a kindly gas station attendant or barkeep for directions. They’ll be sure to help you if you give a little smile and show a little gam!

NOTE: IF YOU WERE ASSAULTED BY A GAS STATION ATTENDANT, FOLLOW STEP 5. IF YOU WERE NOT, SKIP TO STEP 6.

STEP #5: Do not shower. Immediately call 911.