21 Ways to Cope with Climate Change
As the evidence for climate change piles up, the only question left is “what are we going to do about it?” Here are some options:
- Practice treading water until you can do it for 50 years at a time.
- Start being nicer to that crazy neighbor building an ark in his backyard.
- Practice gazing out the window and muttering, “Superstorm’s a’comin’.”
- Paint a sleeping grizzly bear white and slip a Coke in its paw.
- Get into the fetal position, rock back and forth, and hum “Mr. Brightside” as loud as you can until it’s all over.
- Kidnap Kevin Costner and tickle him until he shows you how he grew those gills in Waterworld.
- Get ahead of the curve by writing some new snow-less Christmas songs.
- Hijack a Virgin Galactic space-tourism ship. Next stop Mars, son!
- Find the 3% of the scientific community who don’t confirm that climate change is caused by people and cut off their heads to gain their incredible powers of denial.